Golden Oak Medium Dry White | Goon (Cask/Box Wine) Review

Goon Sack Info
Amount	4L
Standard Drinks per Cask	30
Alcoholic Content	9.5%
Average Price	$9.99

Generously pouring this wine into a glass, I realised Golden Oak wine is always very cordial looking.
Obviously you don’t expect an $11 wine to be a work of art, but when using it while dining alfresco,
looks are a huge thing. By alfresco dining, I obviously mean drinking on my porch, sitting on a stool.
Don’t get me wrong though, it is definitely worth a purchase. On the palate the wine is very mild,
elegant and engaging. Perfect for parties full of people you hate. This wine goes down with ease,
now you can escape their painful chats about their depressing lives and disappointing children.

Originally you were not so cynical, but the years have caught up and now you would love to forgo
any type of party or social gathering. It was the marriages that did it, 8 is too many. Oh, that drama
kills. 34 children between them. That’s a lot of mouths to feed - that’s a lot of balls to kick.

Many times you wondered if it was a mistake. “Another marriage can’t hurt,” you said with sarcasm. 
Eventually you became addicted to the rush. That wedding day, the excitement, you were aware 
distrust and disappointment were yet to come, but on that day it was perfect. You sauntered 
individually down the aisle. All eyes were on you and that is how you liked it. Next, a craving - sushi. 
Until you could eat that foreign delicacy, you couldn’t get your mind back in the game. Finding tofu, 
mouth met food. You forgot about your original craving, kissed, and became Mr and Mrs Capsicum.

Don’t worry about your surname, you tell yourself. No one thinks about it. But they do, it’s a dud.
Risking the relationship you tell this to your partner. You break up. Now you can begin looking for
yet another partner. The wedding cycle continues and will continue until your death day. Lucky.

While you might be asking yourself, what does that story have to do with the delicious wine? Sorrow
has many faces, just like a box of wine. 6 to be exact. But what resides inside these faces is the truth,
it is life, it is wine. So overall I want to say that this wine is okay, I would go as far to say it’s quasi
terrific. However, there are many other wines in the same price range I would be buying first. Not
everyone has the same taste, so try it and tell us what you think. Only if you’re the reviewing type.

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Golden Oak Medium Dry White | Goon (Cask/Box Wine) Review

Golden Oak Medium Dry White | Goon (Cask/Box Wine) Review Grant Ryan.

Sonata Estate Fresh Dry White | Goon (Cask/Box Wine) Review

Goon Sack Info
Amount	4L
Standard Drinks per Cask	30
Alcoholic Content	9.5%
Average Price	$9

I’m going to start this review by saying: THE SONATA ESTATE FRESH DRY WHITE WAS $9! IT WAS NOT ON SALE. THAT IS RIDICULOUS. NO MATTER WHAT IT TASTES LIKE THIS WINE HAS VALUE, THIS WINE HAS VALUE COMIN OUT THE YING YANG.

However, the winery is owned by Woolworths. I want to support independent Australian wine making so badly, but… $9.

At first glance the box didn’t seem very special. At second glance, however, it still didn’t seem very special. The logo on this guy is disgusting, absolutely disgusting. It’s hard to describe in words how unappealing the design truly is.

The only saving grace as far as visual appeal goes is the beautiful text on the front of the box, which reads: ‘Sonata Estate is the convenient way to enjoy great quality wine suitable for any occasion.’

Suitable for any occasion… ANY occasion. There is literally no occasion where this wine would not be suitable. None. None whatsoever. That’s a big plus.

It will definitely make this depressing situation marginally better

In the glass the wine was almost clear and had a distinct odour. It had slight scents of the way your clothes smell if they were to sit in a damp sack. The initial taste was very subtle, however, the after taste was a little rough. If I had to describe the taste I would probably liken it to lemon skins. Is that a good thing? You tell me.

The cask had 30 standard drinks, so nothing spesh, contained sulphites (which I love) and may contain traces of milk products (which I also love).

Overall this is not a wine, it is a wine based beverage. It says so on the box. It is nowhere near great, or even good, but it was $9 and unlike you I can’t afford to splash out all the time.

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Red Goon (Cask/Box Wine) Review – Golden Oak Dolce Rosso

Goon Sack Info
Amount	4L
Standard Drinks per Cask	30
Alcoholic Content	9.5%
Average Price	$9.99

The other night, a couple buddies and I wanted to partake in some goon. To our horror and disgust the only sack we had was under half full and as it was a Sunday night, all the bottle shops were closed. We ended up scouring the house, finally coming across an old bottle of red wine. I can’t recall the brand, but it was quite nice, consumed both by itself and mixed with some Coke.

With a new found love for red goon, we decided that we would buy a cask next time we went to the shops. The cask purchased was the Golden Oak Dolce Rosso and believe me, it did not taste anything like the red wine we had consumed a couple of nights prior.

The Golden Oak Dolce Rosso was a harsh mistress, so sweet it tasted like un-mixed Ribena. It was almost impossible to drink without screwing up your face. It wasn’t just the taste we didn’t like either, it left your throat feeling like shag carpeting from the 1970’s and at a measly 30 standard drinks, “there wasn’t much to write home about” (not something that is especially good or exciting).

It was a better time…

If I had to describe this wine in one word… probably.. filth.

We obviously didn’t want to waste the cask, so a few nights later we mixed it with some apple, pineapple and guava juice and it actually tasted pretty nice, almost completely masking the taste of the goon.

Overall try to “steer clear” (to avoid someone or something), unless you get some for free, then go your hardest.

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Red Goon (Cask/Box Wine) Review – Golden Oak Dolce Rosso

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