Can you make SodaStream Champagne from Goon (Cask Wine)?

Introduction

Can you make SodaStream Champagne from Goon? It’s a great question seeing as Champagne is an expensive luxury, even the cheapest bottles (of sparkling wine) are still around $4 and that only gets you 750ml. What if you need to put on a wedding? Do you know how many bottles of Passion Pop that is?!

Equation 1:

(a*b)/c = d

a = no. of guests at wedding = 140 (CNN Library, 2013)

b = millitres of Champagne per glass = 150 (Australian Government, 2010)

c = millitres of Champagne per bottle = 750

d = no. of bottles required

Therefore, (140*150)/750 = 28

That’s right 28 bottles and that’s only one glass per person! That will set you back around $112 and when you consider all the other expenses that surround weddings and indeed penetrate them, then what are you left with? I’ll tell you what… a loveless marriage and no money to your name and what is really more important?

Now look what happens if you replace the Champagne with goon.

Equation 2:

(a*b)/c = d

a = no. of guests at wedding = 140 (CNN Library, 2013)

b = millitres of goon per glass = 150 (Australian Government, 2010)

c = millitres of goon per cask = 4000

d = no. of casks needed

(140*150)/4000 = 5.25

So obviously it is far cheaper. The real problem is that you can’t serve people goon at a wedding. UNLESS you can carbonate it. Then if it is in a glass how will people know?… They won’t!

So what is carbonation and how does it work?

Carbonation or fizz is the process of dissolving carbon dioxide in a liquid. The process usually involves carbon dioxide under high pressure. When the pressure is reduced, the carbon dioxide is released from the solution as small bubbles, which causes the solution to become effervescent, or fizzy (Wikipedia, 2014).

Finally, the real question: Can you make SodaStream Champagne from Goon?

Method

Using a SodaStream, a small quantity of dry and fruity goon will be carbonated.

Results

Discussion

As the results show the carbonated goon looked identical to Champagne (to me anyway). First wine tried was a Soft Fruity White. It felt like Champagne both in my mouth and in my heart, however as it was a Fruity White it was ridiculously sweet. The next wine we tried was a Dry White, which worked a lot better. The taste was almost identical to Champagne albeit a really shitty one. The type of Champagne your Mum’s friend Shaza would call Champaz.

“Chuck us the Champaz, Rob,” she would scream at her husband in a high, shrill voice.

But, not everything was hunky dory (a saying stolen from Shaza). We found that the Champaz went flat really quickly. But, eh, if someone says anything about it, eject him or her from the wedding. They have over stayed their welcome anyway.

A few other problems include the time it would take to produce 140 glasses of carbonated goon using a Soda Stream, the amount of noise (which is a lot) that machine produces, especially if you are trying to keep it under wraps and the amount of gas refills you would go through.

Conclusion

The wine really did taste, look and feel like Champagne satisfying the initial question. As for the wedding stuff.. don’t be a cheap skate! Just buy the extra gas cylinders for the SodaStream, then every guest can enjoy delicious carbonated goon.

Just in case you need more proof…

References

Australian Government, standard drinks guide?, date viewed 1/10/2014, <http://www.alcohol.gov.au/internet/alcohol/publishing.nsf/Content/drinksguide-cnt>

CNN Library, I do … cost a lot: weddings by the numbers, date viewed 30/9/2014, <http://edition.cnn.com/2013/08/09/living/matrimony-by-the-numbers/>

Wikipedia, Carbonation, date viewed 1/10/2014, <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbonation>

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Sonata Estate Soft Fruity White with Schweppes Fruit Tingler | Goon Mix

Goon Sack Info
Amount	4L
Standard Drinks per Cask	30
Alcoholic Content	9.5%
Average Price	$9

Schweppes is pretty sneaky. They have obviously read the Good Goon Guide’s review of our Fruit Tingle cocktail and have decided to condense the three mixers used into one soft drink.

YOU CAN’T DO THAT

It’s like The Hobbit. Peter Jackson thought about condensing it down into one movie, but you can’t. Yes we all know that the Hobbit is masterfully crafted – from its hilarious humour down to its action packed scenes and draw dropping special effects, but now imagine it condensed down to one movie. Yuck. No one wants to see that. Imagine how much better the Lord of the Rings would have been if they had decided to do three instalments per book. JRR would have tipped his hat.

“YOU DID REAL GOOD PETER… REAAAAL GOOD.” (The statue obviously talks on behalf of him).

Peter would tip his hat in return, knowing him it would probably be a fedora or something equally as nerdy.

The soft drink did not taste like Fruit Tingles at all. It tasted like a mix of lemon squash and creaming soda. Looking for an outside opinion I got this description:

“When I was little, I would eat boiled lollies. While I was in the shower I would store them in a glass of water so I could continue eating them once I got out. It tasted like the water.” – anonymous

I had so many questions for that response, but was unfortunately unable to ask any.

Mixed with the goon the drink tasted even worse, I think because you are watering down a pretty watery drink.

Some Positives:

1. Cheap.

2. Easy to mix.

3. The name makes me laugh. They are clearing trying to get as close to Fruit Tingles as possible without having to pay a cent.

Some Negatives:

1. Does not taste like Fruit Tingles.

2. Tastes pretty ordinary anyway.

3. Colour is disgusting.

Overall I do not recommend the Sonata Estate Soft Fruity White with Schweppes Fruit Tingler mix. If you want your goon to taste like Fruit Tingles try our cocktail.

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Apple, Ginger and Cranberry Goon Cocktail | Cask Wine Mix Recipe

Goon Sack Info
Amount	4L
Standard Drinks per Cask	30
Alcoholic Content	9.5%
Average Price	$12

The Golden Oak Dry White with Home Brand Apple Juice, Langers Cranberry and Schweppes Dry Ginger Ale was actually a vodka cocktail, I just replaced the vodka with goon. ALL CLASS. Because of this it is a fancy drink. If you need to see how fancy it is just look at the photo! It is for the type of goon drinker that hangs out at rooftop parties with their super attractive friends. If less than 90% of your friendship group aren’t super attractive then get out of here! What are you doing! This is not the goon for you.

This is the kind of friendship group I’m talking. John Depp.

For you select few left, try it. Drink it out of a jar. Nothing says you’re in your 20’s like drinking out of jars.

Here are the deets (details):

Step 1: Pour equal parts goon, cranberry, apple juice and ginger ale into a jug.

Step 2: Add ice.

Step 3: Serve.

Step 2 being the coldest of the steps.

Now what you are left with is a refreshing, fruity drink perfect for those rooftop summers. The flavours mix well together disguising the taste of the goon. So well in fact, that you could almost double the amount of goon if you wanted, or half, whatever it’s completely up to you. Have it without goon for all I care. I did find it tasted better with slightly more ginger ale.

However, it is a little expensive. The mixers combined cost me $8, but in saying that you can get about 7.25 litres worth.

Overall a deliciously, refreshing (that would be the tag line) goon drink, perfect for parties in hot weather. Make a big batch of it and serve it out of jugs (the George Clooney).

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