Goon Macaroni and Cheese | Goon Wine Food Pairing

Looking to pair some food with your goon wine? Well Why not have the goon IN THE FOOD!

via GIPHY

Do you like Kraft Easy Mac? Does this Yahoo Answers post by Smile sound like you?

“I thought I should try it cause everyone else likes it and the ads look really good..
but to be honest it tastes awful, I feel like throwing up. The powder cheese smells and tastes like vomit. I made it exactly as it says so no I didn;t make it wrong.
I don’t understand why people like it so much? :s”

Nobody likes it, it’s just a part of life. How much do you enjoy breathing? Bet you’ve never thought about it and blinking? Nobody loves these things, but they are still very much a part of this crazy rollercoaster we call life.

Now don’t think I’m taking a stab at Smile’s post, it’s actually the contrary. I really respect Smile’s courage. Smile’s honesty is really admirable.

“to be honest it tastes awful, I feel like throwing up.”

Smile doesn’t hide behind a veil of half-truths, Smile is honest and honestly… Smile… it must have been really hard to say that, I applaud your honesty.

The powdered cheese DOES smell AND taste like vomit and Smile made it EXACTLY as it says. NO, Smile didn;t make it wrong. For those of you thinking that I have a little quote for you…

“Judge not lest you are Judge Judy”

“Judge not lest you are painting of Judge Judy”

Okay, now we have that out of the way, I would just like to say I HAVE FOUND A WAY of improving that VOMIT taste and the answer is goon. This is how you do it…

Step 1: Purchase Kraft Easy Mac.

Classic cheese!

Step 2: Mix Pasta with 170ml of your favourite goon in a microwaveable safe bowl.

The most arty photo of goon mac & cheese you will EVER see

Step 3: Place bowl in microwave for 3-4 minutes (this is where you can be creative, the time is up to you).

Don’t judge the gross microwave

Step 4: Add the flavour sachet and you are ready to go!

Sachet is french for a small bag filled with cheese flavouring

The smell that the Goon Macaroni and Cheese creates in the microwave is pretty disgusting so be wary of that. Maybe try opening every window in the house, place the bowl in the microwave, cook the pasta, and then throw away the microwave. Other than that it actually tastes fine, it’s almost impossible to even tell there is wine in it.

So there you are Smile and if I could just correct one piece of your writing and please don’t take offense to this… :s should be :).

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Goon Macaroni and Cheese | Goon Wine Food Pairing

Goon Macaroni and Cheese | Goon Wine Food Pairing Grant Ryan.

Wine Ice Cubes (Goon Ice Cubes) | Frozen Cask Wine

Hot nights require a cool goon and what better way to cool down your goon than with wine ice cubes… That’s right, ice made from goon. That’s cooling down your drink with your drink. META.

But How?!… Oh, I’ll tell you how!

Step 1: Choose your favourite ice cube tray. As you can see I have gone for the penguins and hearts.

Step 2: Pour a goon of your choice – we’ve used a Fruity Lexia.

Step 3: Freeze. This is the most difficult step as wine ice cubes require use of a freezer. If you do not have access to one perhaps ask a neighbour.

Step 4: Place the wine ice cubes in your goon, drink it and reflect on what you have just accomplished. You are a good person.

Things to remember:

Usually ice cube trays made of rubber taste a bit like rubber.

Penguin trays are optimal as the animal often* comes from a cold climate.

Using heart shaped wine ice cubes might be a nice romantic surprise on Valentine’s Day or while you are watching the movie Valentine’s Day with a loved one.

The wine will never become solid ice in the freezer, as the freezing temperature of ethanol is a lot greater than that of water.

Overall wine ice cubes will work A LOT worse than regular ice. Also I would be very surprised if anyone can be bothered actually trying this and if you do….good for you. Don’t be discouraged that you had nothing better to do than make wine ice cubes. Your life will turn around soon, you’ll see.

* I say often as most penguins live in the cold, however several species are found in the temperate zone, and one species, the Galápagos penguin, lives near the equator (Wikipedia, 2016).

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Wine Ice Cubes (Goon Ice Cubes) | Frozen Cask Wine

Wine Ice Cubes (Goon Ice Cubes) | Frozen Cask Wine Grant Ryan.

Goon Mixing Inside The Goon Bag – Travelling With Your Sack

How many times has this happened to you? A lot I’m guessing.

You’ve been invited to a cool party with other cool people, but.. uh oh, it’s BYO.

You care, but you’re not cool enough to make a deal about it. So you go and purchase your favourite drink. Goon.

You decide that you are going to mix tonight. It’s payday so you decide to spend big and buy three mixers (a triple threat).

But, now you have a cask and three bottles of soft drink. How are you ever going to carry all of these drinks? That’s like 10 litres all up?! Who do you think you are? Ric ‘The Nature Boy’ Flair? Come on.

Don’t worry though, we’ve come up with the solution… MIX IT IN THE GOON SACK.

Step 1: Acquire a half full goon sack.

Step 2: Use a knife to pop the tap off of that bad boy.

(Watch out not to cut those pretty fingers of yours)

Step 3: Pour your mixers in.

Step 4: Replace the tap.

What you now hold in your hands is a premixed goon sack. Yes, that’s right. The holy grail of goon drinking. Your favourite wine combined with your favourite soft drinks, all ready to go in a convenient 4 litre sack. I bet you look really cool and I bet it tastes even better.

You’ll be the bell of the ball.

Also if you don’t know what you want to mix, read some of our goon recipes. Leave a review if you’ve tried some. We all REALLY want to hear your opinion.

More goon reviews 

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Goon Mixing Inside The Goon Bag – Travelling With Your Sack

Goon Mixing Inside The Goon Bag – Travelling With Your Sack Grant Ryan.