Fatties rejoice, here’s the mix that won’t blow your waistline or your budget. Best of all, if you’re from South Australia, we’re dealing solely with the finest local produce our state has to offer.
Berri Estates is located in the heart of South Australia’s Riverland. I remember family holidays at the Berri Caravan park when I was a young lad. The highlight of the trip for me would always be Berri’s famous attraction, The Big Orange, which is currently ‘the biggest fruit’ in Australia (a prestigious award previously held by Queensland’s Big Banana and Peter Allen). My parents would often drop me at The Big O (our special nickname for it) whilst they went to Berri Estates Winery for an hour or six.
My mother, a morbidly obese woman with a passion for fine cask wine, would often sit back and relax at the caravan park on warm summer nights over a few casks that she had hidden in the bottom of her mobility vehicle whilst on the free tasting tour. One night, I accidentally spilt some of my lemonade into mum’s wine jug, this was the moment that this wondrous drink was created.
With a generous mix of one part diet lemonade, three parts Lite Fruity Lexia, the rich fruit flavours of the wine become much more subtle, to the point where it’s almost a guessing game. “Passionfruit? Grapes? Definitely grapes, perhaps a hint of lemon and sweetener number 951…” you’ll be thinking to yourself.
However, it is not the taste and bubbly appearance that makes this drink astounding. Due to it’s generally low alcohol content (6%) and diet mixer, this drink essentially replaces all diet fads, shakes, exercise regimes and portion controlled meals ever. Upon discovery of this drink my mother went from having to import specially tailored skirts from Osaka, to being a Joyrene Fashions catalogue model.
The trick is simple, Hungry? Berri Estates Lite Fruity Lexia and Woodroofe Diet Lemonade. Thirsty? Berri Estates Lite Fruity Lexia and Woodroofe Diet Lemonade. Tired? Berri Estates Lite Fruity Lexia and Woodroofe Diet Lemonade. Hungover? Berri Estates Lite Fruity Lexia and Woodroofe Diet Lemonade. Lonely? Berri Estates Lite Fruity Lexia and Woodroofe Diet Lemonade. A Person? Berri Estates Lite Fruity Lexia and Woodroofe Diet Lemonade.
It’s that simple. Lose weight, save money, get drunk and support the local economy. Win, win, win, win.
Note: Woodroofe Diet Lemonade is only sold in South Australia. DO NOT attempt this diet with any other diet lemonade, my uncle in Perth tried, and now he’s got diabetes and an ingrown toenail.
Daniel Schmidt, Adelaide born, Berri raised, South Australia